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Boston Terrier TimesEverything Boston Terrier!
22-1-2007 C.A.N.I.N.E ReportAlright dogs, it's time for another C.A.N.I.N.E report.
Our intelligence officers report that F.E.L.I.N.E. has once again been up to no good. Special agent Fido has reported that the cats have been plotting to take over our territory. Cats have indeed been spotted all over the country in dogs' territory. Just the other day while at my post (the front window) I spotted three cats laying on my human's car. As I began barking, I noticed a fourth cat approach. With the threat of my fearce attack, I managed to scare them off. I sent my wife Mitsy out to investigate:
Mitsy: "Yes, I noticed that the cats had left their prints all over our human's car. There were multiple cat prints. As I sniffed the area, I noticed that one of the cats smelled pregnant. Which can only mean more of a threat to our territory. I also noticed that the two male cats had sprayed the tires of the car."
Thanks Mitsy for that fine report. There is evidence however, that F.E.L.I.N.E has trouble with in. Many cats have been spotted fighting amongst themselves. This phenomenon could possibly mean that the F.E.L.I.N.E organization is about to come under control of a new leader, which means some cats may become rogue. With rogue cats, comes the possibility that we can get them to side with us. This means we could come into some inside knowledge of the organization.
Stay alert fellow C.A.N.I.N.E agents, and report any F.E.L.I.N.E activity you happen to witness. You can do so by clicking "add comment" below. We at C.A.N.I.N.E must stay on top of the latest F.E.L.I.N.E movement inorder to stay ahead of them.
F.E.L.I.N.E must not be trusted. They are notorious for taking over the human mind and using them against us.
Over and out-
Special Agent Oreo
This transmission will self destruct in 10 seconds.... thats 70 dog seconds.................... Human Trick Of The Week
Wow have I been busy! Oreo here to bring you the latest Human Trick Of The Week.
Ok, this trick is called "Run Human Run!"
To begin this trick, you need to coax your human to take you on a walk. I know, a lot of humans don't like to walk now-a-days, but do what you can to get them to take you. I find that running around the house in a frenzy often works!
Ok, so you're on the leash..remember, this device is used so you can control where your human goes on your walk. After all, you don't want them wandering off! Get your human moving by pulling them as fast and hard as you can. Small dogs, like myself, may have a bit more trouble with this.
Once your human is practically running behind you to keep up, suddenly stop and pee.. or if you find a nice lawn.. take a dump. Your human may be bewildered by this and may not be paying attention to your make. This is when you bolt!
The idea is to catch your human off guard and jerk the leash out of their hands. Once you've accomplished this, you can show off to all of your canine pals in the neighborhood how fast your human can really run behind you! After all, humans can't think, they just react, so when they see you bolting down the street, they'll instinctively chase you.
Make sure that you slow down, or even stop and sniff here and there so your human doesn't get too far behind. When they yell and scream at you, that means they're having fun. You may want to run towards them like your coming to them, but then quickly run past them. They love that! You can tell by all the yelling and heavy breathing.
This is a great way to get your human to exercise. So give it a try sometime, if you haven't already!
Remember, you are in control while on the leash, not the human! So have fun!
13-1-2007 Icey DayOk, so I begged my Dad to take me out today after we woke up like always. I noticed he started to put on his shoes, nothing unusual there, and then he began putting on his hoody. I figured he was going to come out with us and I wouldn't have to go out on a leash, so I was excited.
I stood nicely to have my collar put on, and so did Mitsy and Chance. We finally made it to the back door. As my dad opened the door, I felt a burst of cold air come in. My dad makes us sit and stay before he lets us run out. So as he gave the release command ("free") we bolted out into what looked like an icey tundra! Everything was frozen, trees, grass, the house, the power lines, everything!
It was so cold that Mitsy and I only walked on two paws at a time, leaving the other to paws up in the air. It works best if you alternate. Chance just ran around like a lighting bolt, peeing and pooping as he went. Anyway, I went straight to a tree and peed, but then began to look around. Mitsy and Chance went out, did their business, and then ran inside quickly, but not me. I didn't like all that ice out there.
As I was looking around, I noticed that not a living thing was around...except for some birds flying around. The squirrels I like to chase.. no where to be found. Those ferral cats I like to chase..no where to be found. I noticed an erie silence about the back yard. The sound that stood out the most was the creeking of the trees. When the wind would blow, the trees would creek as if the branches where about to break. I was facsinated, scared, and freezing all at the same time.
I had some trouble smelling the ground because of all the ice. I'd pick up sents here and there, but it wasn't anything like it normally is. I mean, I have no trouble smelling the ground in the rain, why can't I smell it well under the ice?
I don't know if I'll go outside next time to do my business, I think I might just pee on the toilet like my dad. 8-12-2006 Happy Holidays!Twas Boston
Twas the night before Christmas,
and the house was a mess Not a Boston was stirring, not even Chance. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes they were high enough to be safe there. The puppies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of liver treats danced in their heads. And Mama in her sweatpants and me in my shorts, Had just settled down to give holiday damage reports. When out in the Den there arose such a clatter,
I yelled from the couch "What the heck is the matter!" And away in the kitchen I heard such a crash, I knew that the beasts were into the trash. When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But three Boston Terriers dressed like little reindeer. They jumped up in my lap, all wild and deranged, And I knew in an instant my plans had just changed. More rapid than eagles these Bostons they came,
As I shouted at Oreo, Mitsy, and Chance by name. And so up to the couch top the Bostons soon flew, With a bunch of chewed kleenex that stuck to them like glue. Down the armrest they came with a leap and a bound,
Playfully taunting me as they ran round and round. They made not a sound but went straight to their work, And shredded the stockings, then turned with a smirk. I sprang to my feet and gave quite a whistle,
But away they all flew as fast as a missile. Each grabbed a toy and shook it to and fro, Then giving a snort, under the blanket they did go. I thought to myself as they dashed out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. (Sigh.)
5-11-2006 Happy Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving lets call a truce... There's more food in it for both of us if we work together!
Happy Thanksgiving! |
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