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22-1-2007 C.A.N.I.N.E ReportAlright dogs, it's time for another C.A.N.I.N.E report.
Our intelligence officers report that F.E.L.I.N.E. has once again been up to no good. Special agent Fido has reported that the cats have been plotting to take over our territory. Cats have indeed been spotted all over the country in dogs' territory. Just the other day while at my post (the front window) I spotted three cats laying on my human's car. As I began barking, I noticed a fourth cat approach. With the threat of my fearce attack, I managed to scare them off. I sent my wife Mitsy out to investigate:
Mitsy: "Yes, I noticed that the cats had left their prints all over our human's car. There were multiple cat prints. As I sniffed the area, I noticed that one of the cats smelled pregnant. Which can only mean more of a threat to our territory. I also noticed that the two male cats had sprayed the tires of the car."
Thanks Mitsy for that fine report. There is evidence however, that F.E.L.I.N.E has trouble with in. Many cats have been spotted fighting amongst themselves. This phenomenon could possibly mean that the F.E.L.I.N.E organization is about to come under control of a new leader, which means some cats may become rogue. With rogue cats, comes the possibility that we can get them to side with us. This means we could come into some inside knowledge of the organization.
Stay alert fellow C.A.N.I.N.E agents, and report any F.E.L.I.N.E activity you happen to witness. You can do so by clicking "add comment" below. We at C.A.N.I.N.E must stay on top of the latest F.E.L.I.N.E movement inorder to stay ahead of them.
F.E.L.I.N.E must not be trusted. They are notorious for taking over the human mind and using them against us.
Over and out-
Special Agent Oreo
This transmission will self destruct in 10 seconds.... thats 70 dog seconds.................... Human Trick Of The Week
Wow have I been busy! Oreo here to bring you the latest Human Trick Of The Week.
Ok, this trick is called "Run Human Run!"
To begin this trick, you need to coax your human to take you on a walk. I know, a lot of humans don't like to walk now-a-days, but do what you can to get them to take you. I find that running around the house in a frenzy often works!
Ok, so you're on the leash..remember, this device is used so you can control where your human goes on your walk. After all, you don't want them wandering off! Get your human moving by pulling them as fast and hard as you can. Small dogs, like myself, may have a bit more trouble with this.
Once your human is practically running behind you to keep up, suddenly stop and pee.. or if you find a nice lawn.. take a dump. Your human may be bewildered by this and may not be paying attention to your make. This is when you bolt!
The idea is to catch your human off guard and jerk the leash out of their hands. Once you've accomplished this, you can show off to all of your canine pals in the neighborhood how fast your human can really run behind you! After all, humans can't think, they just react, so when they see you bolting down the street, they'll instinctively chase you.
Make sure that you slow down, or even stop and sniff here and there so your human doesn't get too far behind. When they yell and scream at you, that means they're having fun. You may want to run towards them like your coming to them, but then quickly run past them. They love that! You can tell by all the yelling and heavy breathing.
This is a great way to get your human to exercise. So give it a try sometime, if you haven't already!
Remember, you are in control while on the leash, not the human! So have fun!
13-1-2007 Icey DayOk, so I begged my Dad to take me out today after we woke up like always. I noticed he started to put on his shoes, nothing unusual there, and then he began putting on his hoody. I figured he was going to come out with us and I wouldn't have to go out on a leash, so I was excited.
I stood nicely to have my collar put on, and so did Mitsy and Chance. We finally made it to the back door. As my dad opened the door, I felt a burst of cold air come in. My dad makes us sit and stay before he lets us run out. So as he gave the release command ("free") we bolted out into what looked like an icey tundra! Everything was frozen, trees, grass, the house, the power lines, everything!
It was so cold that Mitsy and I only walked on two paws at a time, leaving the other to paws up in the air. It works best if you alternate. Chance just ran around like a lighting bolt, peeing and pooping as he went. Anyway, I went straight to a tree and peed, but then began to look around. Mitsy and Chance went out, did their business, and then ran inside quickly, but not me. I didn't like all that ice out there.
As I was looking around, I noticed that not a living thing was around...except for some birds flying around. The squirrels I like to chase.. no where to be found. Those ferral cats I like to chase..no where to be found. I noticed an erie silence about the back yard. The sound that stood out the most was the creeking of the trees. When the wind would blow, the trees would creek as if the branches where about to break. I was facsinated, scared, and freezing all at the same time.
I had some trouble smelling the ground because of all the ice. I'd pick up sents here and there, but it wasn't anything like it normally is. I mean, I have no trouble smelling the ground in the rain, why can't I smell it well under the ice?
I don't know if I'll go outside next time to do my business, I think I might just pee on the toilet like my dad. 8-12-2006 Happy Holidays!Twas Boston
Twas the night before Christmas,
and the house was a mess Not a Boston was stirring, not even Chance. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes they were high enough to be safe there. The puppies were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of liver treats danced in their heads. And Mama in her sweatpants and me in my shorts, Had just settled down to give holiday damage reports. When out in the Den there arose such a clatter,
I yelled from the couch "What the heck is the matter!" And away in the kitchen I heard such a crash, I knew that the beasts were into the trash. When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But three Boston Terriers dressed like little reindeer. They jumped up in my lap, all wild and deranged, And I knew in an instant my plans had just changed. More rapid than eagles these Bostons they came,
As I shouted at Oreo, Mitsy, and Chance by name. And so up to the couch top the Bostons soon flew, With a bunch of chewed kleenex that stuck to them like glue. Down the armrest they came with a leap and a bound,
Playfully taunting me as they ran round and round. They made not a sound but went straight to their work, And shredded the stockings, then turned with a smirk. I sprang to my feet and gave quite a whistle,
But away they all flew as fast as a missile. Each grabbed a toy and shook it to and fro, Then giving a snort, under the blanket they did go. I thought to myself as they dashed out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. (Sigh.)
5-11-2006 Happy Thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving lets call a truce... There's more food in it for both of us if we work together!
Happy Thanksgiving! 22-10-2006 Human Trick Of The Week!Ok, it's been awhile since I've posted. I've been real busy lately helping my human Dad at work. He works for a major pet supply store as a dog trainer and bather. My job is to assist the dogs and be a good example of his skills. So sometimes I like to act up, just to tease him!
Anywho, this week I've come up with another great trick of the week that you can teach your human.
We all know it's really important to keep your human well exercised. Remember a tired human is a good human!
This week's trick is called "The Game Of Fetch!"
Step 1: Get your human to let you outside. Do whatever you have to to get your human to let you out. Wether it be scratching the door, ringing a bell, or jumping on him/her with your eyes bugged out.
Step 2: Do your business in the yard somewhere. Remember, it's important to make our humans think we stratigically place our waste, so don't just go anywhere. Besides, you'll be outside longer if you hold it!
Step 3: When you've "stratigically placed" your poo, go and get that ball that lays around in the yard all day.. every day, and take it to your human. You want to seem excited and ready to play. This will stimulate the "cute/I love you" function in the human brain, making it nearly impossible for your human to refuse delivery of the ball. NOTE: Make sure to get the ball as slobbery as possible, humans like that.
Step 4: If your human is hesitant to take the ball, drop it at his/her feet and look up in a confused fashion. Once your human goes to take the ball, you have two different options. Option 1: If the ball is still in your mouth, hold on to it. Your human will likely try to pull the ball out of your mouth, and then you have a game of tug. (You'll want to give in eventually though, humans are sensitive creatures after all). Option 2: If the ball is on the ground at your human's feet, rush for it when he/she reaches for it. This action trains your human to try and pick up the ball faster. If you get to the ball before your human, and chances are you will, make sure to hold on to it so your human has to tug continually to get it.
Step 5: Ok, so now your human has the ball. Most likely he/she will throw it. Remember, the more frustrated the human, the farther he/she throws the ball. So if your human is not throwing far, then you need to work more on step 4.
Step 6: Once the ball has been thrown, stand there next to your human and look confused. The idea here is to make your human go and look for the ball.
Step 7: Make sure your human retrieves the ball, and repeat steps 3-6 at least 5 times.
Step 8: When you are ready to end the game, go and retrieve the ball the last time it is thrown, but do not bring it back to your human. Make your human come and get it. You can also pretend to loose interest in the game by dropping the ball and sniffing the ground.
Hopefully by now you have a well exercised human. You'll know you've exercised your human correctly if he/she plops down on the couch with a cold drink and stares at that silly picture box.
-Oreo- 7-10-2006 Question Of The WeekThis is a new segment I'm adding to our space. I will ask you humans a question each week, and it's up to you to answer it for me.
Ok, so this week's question is:
Why do humans potty in the water bowl, or toilet as you call it, and not in the yard?
 I mean really, there are plenty of trees outside! You humans truely are a dirty species. That's gross!
If you have the answer to this question, leave it in the comment section below by clicking on add a comment below. 26-9-2006 Halloween TimesIt's ba-ack! That's right, my human's halloween site is back. It's called Halloween Times.
This is a fun site with all kinds of scary stuff. You can look at ghostly photos, play Real Or Fake?, listen to scary music, and much more. There are links to spooky sites online where you can buy decor for your home or office, or just get some cool animations for your website. Learn some horrifying tricks and treats to make your Halloween fun and scary.
The site is updated daily, so remember to check back often.
So what are you waiting for? Visit Halloween Times now!
Parents are cautioned, as some content may be too spooky for the little ones.
Click on the spooky pumpkin to visit now...
23-9-2006 Doggy Rules
19-9-2006 Doggy Dictionary
LEASH:
A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. DOG BED:
Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. DROOL:
Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps. SNIFF:
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop. GARBAGE CAN:
A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. BICYCLES:
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. DEAFNESS:
This is a malady which affects dogs when their person want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. THUNDER:
This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. WASTEBASKET:
This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your owner comes home. SOFAS:
Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. BATH:
This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. LEAN:
Every good dogs response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events. BUMP:
The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. GOOSE BUMP:
A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require... especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above. LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail or lick until your tongue dries up. 3-9-2006 Human Trick Of The WeekOk, this week I am going to teach you a great new trick to teach your humans. It's called "Come Inside!...NOW!"
The objective of this trick is to get your human to scream "NOW!" at you when he or she is trying to call you inside from a potty break or whatever. Obviously, this trick applies to inside dogs only. If your an outside dog, then how'd you sneak on to the computer to read this? You must already be a genius!
Step 1: When your human lets you go out to potty (or rather to chase squirrels and rabbits.. and birds...) go about your business normally and pay no attention to your human... as normal.
 Sniff around and enjoy yourself, you'll be outside for awhile!Step 2: This is where the trick actually begins. As soon as your human starts to hollar at you to come inside, ingore him or her. It's really that simple. For some reason, people like to make our "potty breaks" short. (I don't know why though, all they do is go back in and plop down infront of that picture box). So if your human is like this, then he or she should begin to start yelling pretty quick. Usually after the 3rd or 4th time of hollaring at you.
Step 3: Ok, so now your human is calling you inside. He or she may be saying, "Ok [your name here] let's go! Time to go inside!" He or she may even clap his or her hands or whistle. Keep ignoring him or her. You are close to a break through!
Step 4: This is where it gets really fun! Your human is probably really yelling now and walking towards you and posturing. Your human may chase you around the yard...HOW FUN!!!!! Go with it, you are getting close!
Step 5: Now your human is turning all different shades of red and purple trying to get you to come inside. Success! Now all you have to do is get your human to say "COME INSIDE, NOW!" So head for the back fence and start jumping up on it.
Step 6: Wow! Your human is turning a bright white color! He or she may not be able to breathe from all the running he or she has done so far. Yeah, humans aren't great at stamina. Anyway, by now your human should explode and yell the right words, "COME INSIDE, NOW!" Congratulations, you have taught your human a new trick!
Remember to practice this trick often. You don't want to do it every time you go out though, it is far better if you catch your human off guard.
If you have any questions about this trick, simply leave me a pee-mail! I will smell it as soon as I can and reply back. 22-8-2006 Why can't dogs potty in the bathroom?Oreo here again. So today, I got introuble. Well, I really don't see what the big deal is, but apparently, I'm not aloud to potty in the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and did my business on the floor. What's wrong with that? I don't understand why my humans were upset with me.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't get spanked. My humans don't believe in that. But my female human, L, talked to me like she was upset. I didn't understand a word she said, and every time I cocked my head to try, she got madder, but I thought if I had to go, that's where to do it. Right? WRONG! I guess it's not a good idea for me to potty in the bathroom. All of my humans potty in the bathroom, why can't I? Well, I think they do anyway. They sit on that funny chair in there that you are supposed to drink out of and stink up the place, and I never once got upset with them for it. But, the one or two times I go in there to potty on the floor and I get in trouble? Go figure. You humans are strange creatures.
Anyway, I guess I have to hold it in until I get outside. It's not fair. I never see L have to hold it until she can get outside. Brandon, well, he goes outside once in awhile, but still gets to use the bathroom inside too. Why can't we dogs potty in the bathroom inside like humans? I mean c'mon, it's not like I pottied in the living room! Rabbit TroublesOk, so I think I've got that pesky rabbit figured out. He likes to come into my yard around noon. Usually, my human wakes up around 11:00 a.m. on his days off. I really don't know how he manages to sleep so late, but that's another entery. Anyway, I've figured out that if I lick his face in the mornings and act like I want to play, he will let us dogs out. I know we are getting ready to go out, because he says "outside" and then goes to get our collars. Sometimes he takes too long, and I have to get them for him.
Once we get outside, I know exactly where to go. I run straight for the back fence. That's where that rabbit will be. Usually, the rabbit can see us, or hear us coming and squeezes through the chain fence. Not today! Today I caught up to him before he had a chance to squeez through the fence! I got a bite out of his furry tail, but he still got away. I ended up going head first into the fence. Wow, that smart. I feel like Wyle E. Coyote chasing the Road Runner!
Tomorrow I will rally the troops. We will catch that peskey rabbit someday! 20-8-2006 Human Trick Of The Week!Wow! It's time for a new trick! This one is good! I'm going to teach you dogs how to properly get your humans to give you food while they're eating.
Ok, this trick is relatively simple:
Step 1.) While your human is in the kitchen, stand next to him/her and give your constent attention. You want your human to know that you are the taste tester. If your human puts up a gate to keep you out of the kitchen, hop it! We are good jumpers, so we need to use our talent!
Step 2.) When your human sits down to eat, stay right by him/her, put your ears back, make your eyes as big as you can, and lick your lips. You Bassets have an advantadge when it comes to the eyes! You can also paw at your human now and again to remind them that you are there.
Step 3.) Once your human makes eye contact, try to look as cute and pitifull as possible! Be nice too. You can lick your human's leg or foot to show you love him/her. This is usually the closer of the deal!
Step 4.) If you are curagous enough, you can try to refuse the food once they go to give it to you. This sometimes gets you seconds!
Step 5.) If your human is trying really hard to ignore you, begin doing your entire trick routine! Humans will often laugh and spill their food right on the floor! If your lucky, eating time for the humans turns into trick training time for you!
Step 6.) If all fails, practice on the baby human in the family. They will always give you food until they get caught by the adults.
Just remember to be as cute and pitifull as you can! Being silly also helps. Good luck!
-Oreo- 7-8-2006 Human Trick Of The Week!Hello! Oreo here with yet another Human Trick Of The Week! This week, I will teach you dogs how to get your human to give you a treat!
This is a cool trick that makes your human look very smart, and best of all it's easy to learn!
Step 1. Wait for your human to get in a playful mood and have treats at the same time.
Step 2. Beg your human for a treat by sitting up on your back legs. Your human might even be smart enough to pick up on this and say "Beg!" And then give you one!
Step 3. The rest of the trick will vary, because you will lay down, or sit/stay, or come, or whatever. The key is to get the human to say the word after you've done the posing.
Step 4. Practice with your human often. When your human gets reliable to your routine, then you can show him/her off to other dogs.
Other dogs will be impressed that you can get your human to say a word just by posing in different ways! This is an impressive trick. Humans generally feel that they are "training you," but in reality, you are getting them to say a word over and over just by posing your body in different ways. Humans will often be very excited that they got it right and may celebrate by scratching your back, patting you on the head, and/or saying, "Good dog!"
Remember, humans are silly creatures. If your human doesn't catch on right away, don't worry... he/she will eventually. Just keep encouraging them to work. Also, humans get frustrated easily so don't let them give up! They'll get the right words eventually! 5-8-2006 What's with the changes?Chance: "Hey, Mom, what happened to MSN Spwaces?"
Mitsy: "Huh? Let me see that." {Hops up on chair}
Oreo: "What's going on over there?" {Laying on bed across from computer}
Chance: "We're twying to figur out what happwened to MSN Spaces."
Oreo: "What? It looks like they changed the format!"
Mitsy: "Don't freak out.. I'm sure it can't be that bad."
Chance: "I don't undwerstand."
Oreo: "What's new?"
Mitsy: "Hey, be nice. He may get stuck in things a lot, but he's not dumb."
Oreo: "Are you kidding? He's about as sharp as a bowling ball!"
Chance: "What's a bowling ball?"
Oreo: "See!"
Mitsy: "Oye! It's like a tennis ball, only bigger, harder, and shiney."
Chance: "Oh."
Oreo: "ANYWAY, I wonder why they changed MSN Spaces?"
Mitsy: "I don't know, it was pretty cool before."
Chance: "I twink it was cool before they chwanged it."
Oreo: "Mitsy just said that. Go get stuck in a recliner somewhere."
Mitsy: "That's no way to talk to your son, Oreo."
Oreo: "Sorry, I'm just upset about the changes."
Mitsy: "Do you think Brandon will be back soon?"
Oreo: "Nah, he's busy in the yard with K and L. He has no clue we're on here. I know 'cause I just barked at him to let me out, and he didn't."
Mitsy: "Good! 'Cause the last thing we need is for him to find out we have our own space, and that we can type!"
Oreo: "We can't type!"
Mitsy: "Then why are the words appearing on the screen?"
Oreo: "Because the computer is set to type what we say."
Mitsy: "Oh, I didn't know it could do that!"
Oreo: "Well, we know where Chance gets it from!"
Mitsy: "GRRRR! You'd better remember who's alpha female around here!"
Oreo: "Oh, I'm so scared!" {sarcastic}
Mitsy: "You'd better be!"
Chance: "Would you guys pwease stop bickering and deal with the probwem at hand."
Oreo: "You're right Chance, MSN has completely changed the style of their spaces. I'm not too sure I like it.
Mitsy: "I concure. Spaces seems a bit plain now, and with Brandon's measley dial up, the pages take awhile to load, or crash the browser."
Oreo: "Yeah, especially when using MSN Explorer."
Chance: "Maybe we shwould ask others what they twink."
Oreo: "I bet this is all F.E.L.I.N.E.'s fault."
Mitsy: "Oye! When will you quit it with this whole seceret society stuff?.... Chance, I agree. If any other dogs are reading this.. or humans... please tell us what you think about the new changes."
Oreo: "Cats need not respond... I'm on to you cats... you can't fool me! Ha Ha Ha..."
{Brandon enters room unexpectedly}
Brandon: "What the... what are all of you doing around the computer?... and what's that on the screen?"
Oreo to Mitsy: "Hurry! Sign out!!! Sign out!!!!" {Whispering from side of mouth}
Brandon: "Off! You guys know better than too mess with my computer.... that's it.... Load up!"
Chance: "Ahh, man!....or uh, I mean woof!"
Brandon: "Huh?"
{Later that night before bed}
Brandon: "You're not going to believe this L, but I think I heard Chance talk!"
L: "Go to sleep dear, you're tired."
Brandon: "Yeah, I guess you're right... dogs can't talk. Night."
L: "Night." {Reaches over to kiss Brandon}
{Oreo laying at foot of bed}
Oreo: "heh heh heh." {chuckles softly with grin}
1-8-2006 F.E.L.I.N.E.s New Weapon"That's right! F.E.L.I.N.E. now has a new weapon of mass destruction! Hey, Oreo here.. We have recently learned that F.E.L.I.N.E. has created a deadly weapon that could take over mankind! We must stop them before they have a chance to use this horrible weapon!"
Chance: "Um...Dad?!..."
Oreo: "What do you want? I'm in the middle of something important here!"
Chance: "I was just curious... are you going to tell us what this 'horrible' weapon is?"
Oreo: "Yes..of course! I was just getting to that!"
Chance: "Ok..."
Anyway, this weapon is so powerful, it could take over mankind and make them F.E.L.I.N.E.'s pets forever! The weapon is....THE LOOK!.........
Chance: "Dun, dun, daaah!"
Oreo: "Chance!"
Chance: "Sorry."
That's right, F.E.L.I.N.E has found that cute little look and they are using it on people worldwide. Before you know it... people will be owned by CATS! I know, I know.. it's horrible to think about. We dogs have to fight! Keep chasing those cats! Remember, cats really like the water. Acting like they don't is just an evil plan to get their way!
Dogs, we are in a time of crisis. More and more cats of the evil F.E.L.I.N.E. organization are winning over humans. We must break their evil spells over mankind once and for all... before it's too late.
Pay extra attention to your human, if you notice any unusually weird behavior (I know it'll be hard to tell the difference) from your human such as:
1. Saying cats are cute.
2. Bringing a cat into your home.
3. Feeding a stray cat.
Then go balistic! This is no time to be thinking about fetching or peeing.... well... there's always time for that.. but make sure to protect your humans from utter destruction by F.E.L.I.N.E.!
If you live with a cat, then use extra caution! Most cats are members of the evil F.E.L.I.N.E. organization, and chances are that they are up to no good!
Alright dogs.. you have your mission. This blog will self destruct in 21 dog years!
Chance: "Dad.. no it won't."
Oreo: "Chance, shutup... it adds effect."
Chance: "Whatever!"
Oreo: "Hey! Do you want to be dominated again? Huh? DO YA?"
Chance: "..........no.."
Oreo: "Then be quiet!"
Some Cat: "Meow..."
Oreo and Chance: "AGHHHHHHH!" {running away} 29-7-2006 Human Behavior ProblemsDoes your human have a behavior problem? Having trouble solving it? Maybe we can help!
Leave us a comment below, and we will address the issue in a blog entery!
Please include your name and breed. Also include your humans first name and his/her problem.
Don't worry, humans misbehave from time to time. They can't help it.. they are impulsive. Our job as dogs is to love them and help them get past their problems, so c'mon, don't be shy.. share your human's behavior problems with us so we can help!
-The Boston Family- Human Trick Of The Week!Alright! Oreo here with your brand new trick of the week! Last week we talked about how to get your human to say "NO!" as many times as possible with in a five minuite time period. I hope you all had success!
This week's trick is designed to help teach you dogs to teach your humans how to properly go on walks!
Step 1: Sit infront of your human and stare at him/her until he/she figures out that you want to go on a walk. (This may take some time... human's aren't that brite, and they can be lazy). If this takes too long, go to the door and paw at the knob. Some of you little guys may have to settle with pawing at the door itself. If this still doesn't get your human's attention, go and get the leash.. if you can.
Step 2: Make sure to run around like crazy so your human has to exercise to get the leash on you.
Step 3: Remember that the leash is attached to your collar or harness to give YOU control of your human!
Step 4: PULL! Pull on the leash as hard as you can.. humans can be heavy and stubborn! They are also slow, so pull extra hard until they can keep up. (You may be pulling for most of the walk).
Step 5: Give your human a break once and awhile by stoping on the nicest lawn in the neighborhood and doing your business. Humans like to admire grass for some reason, so this is their reward and a bathroom break for you. Two birds.. one meal! If your human is one of those that likes to pick up your doo... I'm sorry.. this is a gross habit, and there is no known cure.
Step 6: Make sure to involve your human in chases! Humans love to chase us and yell! If your human drops the leash, that's the signal to run like the wind! Your human will have a blast chasing you.
Remember, a tired human is a good human! Keep the walks packed with exercise and don't let your human get infront of you! You are the boss, not the human.
Good luck, and have fun!
Oreo 25-7-2006 Calling All DogsCalling all dogs, Calling all dogs! Oreo here with an important announcement for members of C.A.N.I.N.E. As you dogs know, I am Lt. Col. for C.A.N.I.N.E. (Canine Association of National Intelligence and the Non-cat Elite).
We have a crisis on our hands. We have discovered that the cats have developed new technology that allows them to spy on our secerets. This is an issue that must be addressed. F.E.L.I.N.E. (Feline Evil and Lethal Intelligence and the Non-dog Elite) has threatened to take over the world and make humans their pets. We cannot allow this to happen! We must protect the humans and keep our place as man's best friend!
Dogs, here is your mission:
1. Find and chase all cats. You never know which cats are a part of this F.E.L.I.N.E. organization, so all must be chased. If you catch a cat, bring it back to headquarters immediately for questioning.
2. Watch for spies! We have learned that some dogs are actually friendly with cats! I know, I'm just as shocked as you are! If you see any dogs being friendly with cats, avoid them at all costs!
3. Stay at the window and guard your home all day and night. Bark at all intruders that approach, they may be spies! Especially the mail man!
4. If you see a cat with binoculars looking at you, report it directly to me.
5. Make sure your humans stay clueless to the problem at hand. They must not find out about our battles. Keep a low profile and they won't figure it out. It is in their best interest that they remain oblivious to the Dog and Cat war.
Remember, we are the elite of the elite. We must protect ourselves and our humans from the evil cat geniuses at F.E.L.I.N.E.
Over and out!
Oreo
Lt. Col.
C.A.N.I.N.E.
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