| Profiel van OreoBoston Terrier TimesFoto'sWeblogLijsten |  Extra  Help |
|
|
22-1-2007 C.A.N.I.N.E ReportAlright dogs, it's time for another C.A.N.I.N.E report.
Our intelligence officers report that F.E.L.I.N.E. has once again been up to no good. Special agent Fido has reported that the cats have been plotting to take over our territory. Cats have indeed been spotted all over the country in dogs' territory. Just the other day while at my post (the front window) I spotted three cats laying on my human's car. As I began barking, I noticed a fourth cat approach. With the threat of my fearce attack, I managed to scare them off. I sent my wife Mitsy out to investigate:
Mitsy: "Yes, I noticed that the cats had left their prints all over our human's car. There were multiple cat prints. As I sniffed the area, I noticed that one of the cats smelled pregnant. Which can only mean more of a threat to our territory. I also noticed that the two male cats had sprayed the tires of the car."
Thanks Mitsy for that fine report. There is evidence however, that F.E.L.I.N.E has trouble with in. Many cats have been spotted fighting amongst themselves. This phenomenon could possibly mean that the F.E.L.I.N.E organization is about to come under control of a new leader, which means some cats may become rogue. With rogue cats, comes the possibility that we can get them to side with us. This means we could come into some inside knowledge of the organization.
Stay alert fellow C.A.N.I.N.E agents, and report any F.E.L.I.N.E activity you happen to witness. You can do so by clicking "add comment" below. We at C.A.N.I.N.E must stay on top of the latest F.E.L.I.N.E movement inorder to stay ahead of them.
F.E.L.I.N.E must not be trusted. They are notorious for taking over the human mind and using them against us.
Over and out-
Special Agent Oreo
This transmission will self destruct in 10 seconds.... thats 70 dog seconds.................... 1-8-2006 F.E.L.I.N.E.s New Weapon"That's right! F.E.L.I.N.E. now has a new weapon of mass destruction! Hey, Oreo here.. We have recently learned that F.E.L.I.N.E. has created a deadly weapon that could take over mankind! We must stop them before they have a chance to use this horrible weapon!"
Chance: "Um...Dad?!..."
Oreo: "What do you want? I'm in the middle of something important here!"
Chance: "I was just curious... are you going to tell us what this 'horrible' weapon is?"
Oreo: "Yes..of course! I was just getting to that!"
Chance: "Ok..."
Anyway, this weapon is so powerful, it could take over mankind and make them F.E.L.I.N.E.'s pets forever! The weapon is....THE LOOK!.........
Chance: "Dun, dun, daaah!"
Oreo: "Chance!"
Chance: "Sorry."
That's right, F.E.L.I.N.E has found that cute little look and they are using it on people worldwide. Before you know it... people will be owned by CATS! I know, I know.. it's horrible to think about. We dogs have to fight! Keep chasing those cats! Remember, cats really like the water. Acting like they don't is just an evil plan to get their way!
Dogs, we are in a time of crisis. More and more cats of the evil F.E.L.I.N.E. organization are winning over humans. We must break their evil spells over mankind once and for all... before it's too late.
Pay extra attention to your human, if you notice any unusually weird behavior (I know it'll be hard to tell the difference) from your human such as:
1. Saying cats are cute.
2. Bringing a cat into your home.
3. Feeding a stray cat.
Then go balistic! This is no time to be thinking about fetching or peeing.... well... there's always time for that.. but make sure to protect your humans from utter destruction by F.E.L.I.N.E.!
If you live with a cat, then use extra caution! Most cats are members of the evil F.E.L.I.N.E. organization, and chances are that they are up to no good!
Alright dogs.. you have your mission. This blog will self destruct in 21 dog years!
Chance: "Dad.. no it won't."
Oreo: "Chance, shutup... it adds effect."
Chance: "Whatever!"
Oreo: "Hey! Do you want to be dominated again? Huh? DO YA?"
Chance: "..........no.."
Oreo: "Then be quiet!"
Some Cat: "Meow..."
Oreo and Chance: "AGHHHHHHH!" {running away} 25-7-2006 Calling All DogsCalling all dogs, Calling all dogs! Oreo here with an important announcement for members of C.A.N.I.N.E. As you dogs know, I am Lt. Col. for C.A.N.I.N.E. (Canine Association of National Intelligence and the Non-cat Elite).
We have a crisis on our hands. We have discovered that the cats have developed new technology that allows them to spy on our secerets. This is an issue that must be addressed. F.E.L.I.N.E. (Feline Evil and Lethal Intelligence and the Non-dog Elite) has threatened to take over the world and make humans their pets. We cannot allow this to happen! We must protect the humans and keep our place as man's best friend!
Dogs, here is your mission:
1. Find and chase all cats. You never know which cats are a part of this F.E.L.I.N.E. organization, so all must be chased. If you catch a cat, bring it back to headquarters immediately for questioning.
2. Watch for spies! We have learned that some dogs are actually friendly with cats! I know, I'm just as shocked as you are! If you see any dogs being friendly with cats, avoid them at all costs!
3. Stay at the window and guard your home all day and night. Bark at all intruders that approach, they may be spies! Especially the mail man!
4. If you see a cat with binoculars looking at you, report it directly to me.
5. Make sure your humans stay clueless to the problem at hand. They must not find out about our battles. Keep a low profile and they won't figure it out. It is in their best interest that they remain oblivious to the Dog and Cat war.
Remember, we are the elite of the elite. We must protect ourselves and our humans from the evil cat geniuses at F.E.L.I.N.E.
Over and out!
Oreo
Lt. Col.
C.A.N.I.N.E.
 |
|
|
